Friends of mine, and a good deal of my family, know that I am very spiritual, but that I also loathe organized religion. That is my personal view, of course, but I find the philosophy that one must learn for oneself to be supreme over the idea of following the words of a man in a fancy robe.
That being said, as much as I realize the traditions of winter holidays, whether you call it Christmas, Yule, or whatever, are important, they are not so much to me. Sure, I miss my family, but I do not adhere to a faith that celebrates such a holiday, and I couldn't care less. On top of that, the fact that we rely so heavily upon the mass consumerism that comes with the season, frankly, rather nauseates me. Nor am I one to lie. And yet, I can't help but feel that I've made a huge mistake in admitting that?
I knew my girlfriend was different than I on this. I knew she liked Christmas, in a secular form. And in my classic Taurus ignorance, I never realized just how much she did. I have to work, graveyard shift as always, over Christmas Eve and Day, returning home in the mid morning of the 25th, only to sleep and go back to work that night. I never intended to miss work if my job wanted me on. In fact, I usually enter a new job and the first thing I say is, "I don't celebrate Judeo-Christian holidays, so if you need me Christmas, Easter, or wherever, just let me know." So it was with my current post.
Last night we talked a bit about Christmas. I had made some status updates regarding my views, simplified. I never meant to hurt her, and yet I can't help but feel I did. I'm sorry, baby. I'll try to make it up to you, somehow.