Intimacy

I realized after I wrote my post, below, regarding my "milestones" in sexual function post operatively, that I had embarrassed my partner in my writing. I never meant to imply that my lack of climax had anything to do with her skills, nor of my love for her. But she pointed out that it could be read like that. For that, I am very sorry to her. I will also add that just because I did not climax does not mean that I am having insufficient sensation; on the contrary, I have felt very wonderful things during our sessions together so far. And I imagine it will only get better.

Recovery has been a long process. I suppose I have tried to rush it, or at times even been concerned at how long it has taken, but the body can only heal so fast. You cannot force it to heal, lest you make things worse.

Because of the news I received from Dr. Deutsch the first time, and the concerns with complications and infection after surgery, I have tried to take my sexual experimentation very slowly. When that is constantly on your mind, it is hard to stay in the "moment" of intimacy, even with someone you love very much. For example, it has only been in the past 2 weeks that there has been enough recovery around my clitoris to even identify it as such. And the sensation around it, as a result of the dead tissues around it, had been dull up until very recently. Even still, as of today, I cannot play with it too much before it begins to sting slightly.

So, again, for the clinical purposes of those following my recovery post operatively, I will delve into this territory again. On the day of March 2nd, 2011, I experienced vaginal sexual intercourse with my fiancée for the first time, at slightly longer than 8 weeks post-operative. It was an intensely satisfying experience for everyone involved. I will say no more on that, however, lest I invite further embarrassment.

I have also begun to masturbate more frequently recently. Coupled with a slight modification to my dilating technique, I've found it makes each penetration easier, as early dilations had been quite uncomfortable at times. My depth has also improved slightly with these practices, which is very satisfying to know. Hopefully I can continue this practice, as well as incorporate more clitoral stimulation into the mix, when it is appropriate and safe to do so.

Finally, after one "false start" on the bleeding issue (I stopped wearing pads and began bleeding halfway through a shift last week), I have not had any blood in the genitals for a week now. However, I still have some fluid build up, and I continue my local antibiotic ointment treatments once every day or two, to be safe. All in all, however, I am coming along quite well.